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"Although unpleasant, the easiest way to lose weight from my perspective is to get the flu. You don't eat, you don't feel like eating, you sweat alot, and the pounds just come off. You also get time off work, but there's a chance you might not survive the H1N1 flu, so it might be a permanent vacation..."
"Inspired by those freaky images from the 1950s of large hospital wards filled with iron lung machines and the polio victims inside of them. Approximately 30 people in the US still use an iron lung. One patient spent 60 of her 71 years in one. I guess in that case you really would want detachable faceplates to liven things up."